Dealing With It!
by Rurrlock-God of Power
Summary: Nancy Thompson and Kirsty Cotton have both been through a lot; chased by demons, almost killed on numerous occasions, and no luck with men. Kirsty is staying over at Nancy's, and during one night of heated argument things get...quite steamy. Maybe OOC.


**Dealing With It!**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing (unfortunately). All characters and films are owned by their respective creators and studios.

**Note: **Hey everyone! Rurrlock here with just a random little one shot that came to my mind literally the other day. I've been having a bad spell lately, so I've been trying to write as much as I can to get back in the mood and then this idea came to mind while talking with my friend Laura101. Speaking of which, this fic was inspired and influenced by her funny one shot _'In the heat of the moment'_. So anyway hope you enjoy, and yes this is a parody so the characters may act a bit OOC, still hope you enjoy.

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><p><strong>1428 Elm Street<strong>

The house that holds so many memories…nearly 99% always ends in carnage, death and family arguments. Although the other 1% actually turned out to be fun for whenever anybody wants to party, just ask Jesse Walsh whenever he tidies his room. But both have since disappeared all together along with Freddy Krueger, who has not been seen since his royal rumble with Jason Voorhees. Some believe him to be dead, others believe he is still out their waiting to strike fear into the hearts of millions once more…and others say he and Jason ran off together to get married, don't ask me where those rumors started.

So the house now was nothing more than a normal home for Nancy Thompson, yes, Nancy is still alive in this fic as it was a crime against cinema to kill her off especially in the manner she was. What so Han Solo can't be killed yet they decide to off Nancy without worry? I know the two heroes are literally light years beyond each other but come on!

Anyway back to the story at hand; Nancy was finally living a peaceful life, no Freddy, no nightmares, and no hall passes to be screwed. She would work normally as a bank accountant to earn the money needed to support the family she's always dreamed, but of course her ex Glen had to get killed and then reincarnated as a drunk, possibly homosexual pirate. Just her luck isn't it?

However, she isn't alone if you're wondering. Nope, to further help her with her funds, she rented out a room hoping that someone would buy…although it was hard at first considering this was the house of Freddy Krueger. The only offers she ever got were from sexed up teens looking to get high and gorge in unprotected sex, she kindly turned them down and gave them all directions to Camp Crystal Lake…she thought Jason was dead as well so don't blame her.

She did finally get an offer though, from a British girl actually. Around her age, or maybe a year or two younger. Kirsty Cotton, she seemed nice and it seemed the two got along well. But after a few weeks of living together, Kirsty stumbled upon the history of the house and Nancy herself. This was quickly followed by Nancy finding out Kirsty's past involving explores of hell known as Cenobites that thrive on pain, her cheating wicked stepmother, and her skinless uncle/father…the last part too a long time for Kirsty explain.

So here they were, both of them arguing in Kirsty's room about the dark secrets neither cared to share. Screaming the place down to high heaven…or hell, whichever you prefer.

''You know, I would have thought when I rented this room you could have at least given me a warning!'' Kirsty screamed.

''Oh you're one to talk, what if you had your little demon stalkers follow you here?'' Nancy shouted back.

''Well then maybe your dream-killing boyfriend probably would've protected you!''

Hearing those words, Nancy nearly vomited at the thought. ''Me and…oh that is sick! He's a deranged killer that's killed my family and friends, put me through years of torment, and almost made me go stir crazy. What would make you think he's my boyfriend?''

''Have you counted how many Nancy/Freddy supporters there are at fan conventions?''

''Counted how many at what?'' Nancy questioned bewildered by the question slightly. Eventually she ignored the comment and went on with her argument. ''But the bit about your family, you could have at least given me a few hints about that!''

''I did!''

''When?''

''When you asked me why I moved away from my family at such a young age, I explicitly said that my uncle really got 'under' my father's skin!''

''I thought that was an expression!''

Kirsty chuckled sarcastically before continuing. ''And you're a hypocrite for saying that, how do I know no one died in the bed I've been sleeping in for weeks?''

''No one's died in that bed,'' Nancy argued. ''My mother died in the bedroom down the hall. Besides how many bodies were found in your house?''

''At least my house wasn't previously owned by a psychotic killer!''

''No it was owned by the twisted uncle that had an incestuous fantasy for you!''

''Well what do you expect when you've got someone as sexy as me,'' Kirsty answered but then realised what Nancy said. Her face turning grim at the thought. ''That wasn't any better.''

After that, there was finally a moment of silence. The only audible sound coming from the neighbours nearby, cheering as they finally had peace for the night. The two women just stood in the room, avoiding any eye contact with the other. That is until Kirsty started up another conversation. ''In the end can't blame you, I mean you would have thought I wouldn't rent the room had you told me.''

Nancy's eyebrows cocked up at that statement. ''What do you mean by that?''

''Well even if you told me I still would have bought it. Not very often you meet someone who's been through something as traumatic as we went through.''

''Point taken!'' Nancy whispered. After this was another awkward moment of silence between them, unsure of what to say next. ''I'm sorry about what I said.''

''Me too!'' Kirsty replied. ''We're mature women right? We shouldn't be fighting like this.''

''Of course not,'' Nancy agreed. She turned to the door and looked like she was about to leave Kirsty to get some sleep, however she returned soon after. ''Just out of curiosity, what did these demons look like?''

''You ever read a Clive Barker novel?''

''Yeah.''

''Imagine things that would appear in his books.''

''Yikes.''

''It wasn't that bad, one of them was actually quite…'' She stopped in mid-sentence, turning as red as a tomato thinking about what she was about to say. Thinking she got away with it, however once she felt Nancy's hand on her shoulder and saw the smirk on the woman's face she knew she wasn't off the hook.

''Attractive eh?'' Nancy teased.

''Yeah…a little. I mean, sure he did threaten to tear my soul apart, show me the sights of hell and wreck my father's home, but he was quite handsome.''

''Lucky,'' Nancy muttered. ''The one who tried to kill me was just all burned and…a real jerk…beefy jerky!'' She joked causing the two of them to laugh. And then they stared at each other in complete silence once more. The adrenaline from their little rant earlier making their minds numb as something totally unexpected happened…suddenly both their hands were against the others cheeks, and their lips just smacked together.

And this was no shy, nervous kiss…oh no, this was a passionate, tongue-twisting smooch that would make Joey Tribbiani faint on his feet, or possibly carry on watching if he got the chance. After what seemed like minutes they pulled back breathing heavily. ''That was…pretty cool.'' Kirsty gasped.

''Can't disagree with you there,'' Nancy panted. ''But don't you have a boyfriend?''

''What?''

''That Steve guy? He helped you out of the house from those Cenobites you talked about?''

''Oh him!'' Kirsty sneered at the thought of the guy…I mean WTF? He helps her out of a building filled with raging demons, while the building's coming down on top of them when he has no clue what's going on…and he couldn't even be bothered to visit her in the hospital the day after? At least Frank gave Kirsty some attention. ''He's out of my mind! You don't mind this do you, you know…kissing me?''

''I'm actually glad I got that out of my system. Seriously, I had one of the hottest boyfriends alive and we never even got past first base before he turned into a geyser of blood.''

Without warning, Kirsty grabbed Nancy by her arms and threw her onto the bed. ''Oh you're going all the way tonight dream girl!'' She cooed before jumping on top of Nancy and…

**Meanwhile in Hell…sorry fanboys!**

''Okay, okay, so Jason had me trapped and was coming at me swinging his machete. I was all like _bring it on hockey-puck_! And he was all like _cha-cha-cha-ha-ha-ha _or something like that! And then with my knives I just hacked the momma's boy to pieces and took his head as a trophy! Pretty click huh?'' Freddy Krueger muttered in his cocky tone after telling his story to a bored and un-amused listener.

''Frederick for the last time, that was not the outcome of your battle,'' Pinhead told the dream demon. ''You and Jason Voorhees were at a standstill, and then that group of idiotic and hormonally charged teen models torched you both and you were blown into the lake.''

Freddy just shrugged his shoulders. ''When you say it in that tone it sounds bad, but I was a bad-ass throughout.''

''Jason tore off your arm and then stabbed you with your very own weapon! I find it hard to classify that in the term as you describe…bad…ass!'' Pinhead summarised and even tried to give the finger signals when saying badass.

Freddy groaned loudly. ''I was too a badass! How do you even know how the battle turned out?''

''Frederick, don't you know who I am?''

''I'm Batman!'' Freddy growled before laughing his head off. ''I'm sorry, you set me up for that one. If Chuckster was here, I deserve a high-five.''

Pinhead wisely choose to ignore Freddy's comment and continued with his statement. ''As I was saying, I am Xipe Totec! Dark Prince of Pain, favoured son of the God Leviathan. I see all, and know all!''

''But how exactly?''

''I have ways of seeing into the mortal world, we have eyes everywhere and the sights are quite exquisite!'' He cooly said while pulling out an object from behind his back, the very object the Cenobites use to see into the human world and spy on potential sinners and enemies…the Optical Staff it was nicknamed by someone.

But despite the great promises the object posses Freddy wasn't impressed by it. ''Why does it look like some rusty old telescope?''

Yes, that's what it looked like, any old telescope that would belong to a pirate. Pinhead scoffed at Freddy's observation. ''Please, you almost bring shame to our society by comparing our tool of sight to a common…''

''No seriously, it's just an ordinary telescope!'' Freddy interrupted.

For once, the Cenobite leader was speechless. ''Okay fine it is. But I warned Leviathan, this is what will happen when we entrust the Labyrinth's finance with such retched, disgraceful dogs.''

''Who's that?''

''Dimension Studios!''

Freddy burst out laughing once again. ''I bet that piece of shit doesn't even work!''

''It does too work! And what have I told you about using such vulgar language in my presence?''

''Whatever! Fine if it does work, prove it! Why don't you…um…hey, use it to see what that Nancy chick is up too!''

''Very well!'' Pinhead said as he looked through the telescope, waiting for it to find the woman in question. As he waited for the image to form, he became puzzled by Freddy's demand. ''Hold on, didn't you kill Nancy?''

''I did! But apparently she's too much of a great heroine to stay dead and she was resurrected by fan demand! Big deal, I've been resurrected like what? Seven times, and that doesn't even include the time I went into the real world and killed all the actors in my film.''

''You had a film?'' Pinhead asked confused but his attention was brought back to the image as the Optical Staff had found Nancy and was beginning to see where she was and what she was doing. ''Oh found her, by the looks of it she's with someone else and…oh joy it appears she is involved in the ritual of flesh and desire and…GOOD MARY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HELL AND BELOW!'' Pinhead bellowed in shock, gasping for air as he stared into the image before fainting with the Staff still in his hands.

''The fuck?'' Freddy questioned as he pulled the telescope from Pinhead's hands. ''Jeez, what in the world can make you faint?'' He decided to have a look for himself. ''Ha, hope that little bitch is in the dentist; she's always had a fear of…WHOA MAMMA! Nancy, I forget everything I ever said about you, you know how to pick them…'' His mood soon became depressed then when he realised what he was truly seeing. ''Hold on? Nancy got with a chick before I did? Ah man, does that little whiny pest have to always beat me at something.''

As Freddy watched on, Pinhead managed to pick himself back, still dazed by what he saw. ''Oh my, for a second there, that female with Nancy appeared to be…''

''Hey Pinny boy, ain't that your Kirsty chick Nancy's with? Damn no wonder you've had a thing for her, she's got some great legs…and a hot ass too…ew, that was Nancy's ass!''

''Frederick!'' Pinhead boomed in anger. ''This is a private emotional experience of Kirstys she must be having. Me mustn't spy on her.''

''Yeah right, you're just jealous!''

''I am not jealous!'' Pinhead shouted in pure rage, but Freddy wasn't intimidated in the least bit because he was too busy watching the scene going on. ''Now give back the Staff!''

''No way, I'm watching this!''

''Give it back!''

''No!''

''Then I'll just have to take it from you!'' Pinhead said as he grabbed the telescope and tried to yank it from Freddy's grasp, but the killer wasn't about to let it go just yet. ''Hand it here!''

''No way, you probably want to watch this just as much as I do!'' Freddy tried to reason.

''No I don't, because unlike you I am a gentleman!''

''Sure, that's probably the reason Nancy got that body of Kirsty's before you did!'' Freddy taunted as he used all of his strength to try and keep the telescope for himself. The two were at tug of war for ages, neither wanting to let the other have the way. Just like that, a chain erupted from above and snatched the telescope from both their hands. ''Oh come on Pinhead, I'm frickin dead, can't I have at least one moment of joy!''

''One, you're in Hell Frederick; you don't have any moments of joy! And two…that wasn't my chain that took the telescope!''

''Huh? If it wasn't yours then whose was it?''

At that moment, a figure zip lined down in between them with a chain wrapped around his leg keeping him hanging above them. ''HEY GUYS!'' Buster Daniels shouted at them as he hung upside down holding the telescope in his hands.

''Buster?'' Freddy and Pinhead both shouted in disbelief seeing the Cenobite Warrior down here in Hell with them. ''What are you doing here?''

''I got bored waiting for my next fic, so I thought I'd visit you guys. Hey, what you looking at?'' Buster asked and looked through the telescope. ''Pinhead…what's Nancy doing to Kirsty's leg?''

''That is none of your business, now give that back!''

''No way, it's mine!'' Freddy shouted as both he and Pinhead jumped up and tackled Buster to the ground, the three of them getting caught in a cartoonish scuffle for the telescope that fell harmlessly to the ground next to them as their fight too them out of the main room that they were all in.

**1428 Elm Street…8 Hours Later!**

''Wow…that was…that was…'' Nancy panted trying to find the right words for what just happened between them as they cuddled up under the sheets of the bed.

''You said it!'' Kirsty said. ''But you know, I couldn't get rid of this funny feeling that we were being watched.''

''Same here! But I'm sure it was nothing.''

''Yeah…'' Both were just too speechless to really say anything else, but that was just it, speechless. Neither of them was tired despite what they just did for all those hours. ''Want to go for round 2?''

**Sorry again fanboys…back to Hell**

''Oh yeah!'' Chucky grinned like the happiest man in the world as he looked in the telescope he found.

''CHUCKY?'' Just before he could see anything happen, his doll wife Tiffany snatched the telescope from his hands. ''What do you think you're doing in here?''

''Oh, nothing sweetypie!'' Chucky cooed trying to act all innocent. ''I was just looking for Fred or anyone else down here that could actually talk back unlike Jason or Michael, but it looks like no one's here.''

''Okay, well what's this?'' Tiffany asked suggesting the telescope.

''Oh that…well…I found it just lying on the floor here. And I remember how much old Pinhead heads litter around the place so I thought I'd help out!''

At first it seemed as if Tiffany was about to unleash all hell on Chucky, and the killer doll looked worried for a second even making a sweat drop…even if he is a toy that can't produce sweat. But then a large smile appeared on Tiffany's face. ''Aw Chucky, that was so sweet of you to do! I wonder why anyone would leave a perfectly good…'' She stopped in mid-sentence however…because she happened to look through the telescope. Without a twitch or change of emotion, Tiffany turned back to her doll husband. ''You didn't happen to look through this did you?''

''Me? No of course not, why? Is there something in it? Maybe I should look for myself!'' Chucky tried to grab the telescope from his wife, trying not to drool while doing so.

BAM! But before he could, he got the telescope whacked right on top of his head full force. ''You little bastard!'' Tiffany screamed. ''What's the big idea huh?''

''Ow! Tiff babe, I was just…eh…taking care of them, making sure it was safe for them. You never know, one of them might have got knocked up!''

''Chucky, a girl can't get another girl knocked up!''

''Well we're dolls and I got you knocked up somehow!''

Tiffany was actually dumbstruck that Chucky made a valid point. ''Touché.''

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><p><em>Yeah, so just a completely random fic I just needed to get out. Hope you enjoyed and thought it was funny. For those of you wondering about Buster Daniels, he's the main character in my other fic 'Cenobite Warrior', and if you liked this then I think you may enjoy that one too. Anyway, please can we hold back any flames that say how these two would never get together or that the characters weren't themselves, this was just a fun little one-shot I wrote to get my writing hat on and for a good laugh. Thanks and take care everyone!<em>

_P.S. For all those who actually wanted to see Nancy and Kirsty...do it, sorry but I have a serve lack of lemon experience, so sorry for all the disappointed fans out there. Maybe next time LOL._


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